My coworker Ben requested more gym blog entries. He said he has had enough of the tech and startup BS. So here it is Ben, a gym story from my past.
It was about ’09 and since I lived by Columbus Circle I was a member of Gold’s gym in Hell’s Kitchen. It was a fairly grimy gym, but it had all of the weights, racks, and cardio equipment that I needed. The clientele was eclectic (unfortunately I never saw Daredevil or Jane there). I like doing dumbbell benchpress instead of barbell because of the increased range of motion and the fact that you don’t need a spot when you use dumbbells, you just drop them. I was between my second and third set when I stepped
away to get a drink of water. I came back and there was a giant, beastly man now in the bench next to mine pressing the 130s. He was one of those guys with a fanny pack for
no good reason and obscenely large veins popping out of his neck. He kind of reminded me of bear-pig-man. I had never seen a person use the 130s and I was afraid
that he would drop them on my feet so I stood back and let him do his thing. He must have noticed me and figured I was watching him. When he finished I went to do my set of 100s (I was stronger back then, now my last set is 90s :/). After I completed my set he said something like “nice set” and I just grunted. Why was this guy talking to me? Who talks
to strangers at the gym?
I went to get a drink of water before going onto the next exercise. As I was drinking from the water fountain I noticed the room got dark. There was a very large shadow being
cast over me. In my head I wondered “oh crap, is it that giant dood from before? Why did he follow me?” When I finished drinking I looked over and realized it was him! Quickly
I freaked out. “Why did he follow me? Did he think I was into him? Does he want to sell my steroids? Is he after my vital organs? What happens when I say no? Will he rip off my arm and beat me with it?.” He said to me “Hey can I talk to you for a second over here?” as he motioned to some spot away from the water fountain.
I reluctantly followed him a few yards away. I figured my life was over. I lived a solid enough life. I saw Europe, it was okay. He starts off “Hey buddy. I saw you doing bench press. You’re doing a good job and have a nice upper body. But there is something important I have to tell you. Your legs are too skinny. You really need to start working your calves more. Like do calf exercises every day.” I must have looked scared as hell because he then said “Oh ladies love strong calves. My girlfriend really loves my calves.” I responded with something like “oh thanks, uh, I will try that.” He then said “No I am serious, you really need to do these exercises. If you want I can show you.” I politely declined and scurried away.
I’m not really sure the purpose of this story, but I am glad I didn’t anger the unruly giant. It also reminded me of an Entourage episode where Drama had a complex about having small calves and wanted implants. My finance brings up my small calves only once a month, which I can live with.